Learning how to be happy.

Here’s a question to ask yourself, and REALLY ask yourself…

Are you happy?

Before you say “of course” or “probably not”, really sit back and evaluate the question. Really think about what the question is asking you. You can interpret it asking you “Are you happy RIGHT NOW?” or maybe it’s asking “Are you happy IN GENERAL?” Also, it could mean “Are you happy with the CONTENTS OF YOUR LIFE?” or maybe “Are you happy with the DIRECTION YOUR LIFE IS GOING?”

Either way, sit back and truly ask yourself to answer this question.

It took me some time to process it when I asked it to myself. When I asked myself, “Am I happy?”, I used my experiences, life situations, and future goals to assess the true answer to that question. My answer was shocking….

No, I wasn’t happy.

And of course, this answer then set in motion a number of events to find happiness. To find what it is in my life that wasn’t adding to my happiness or was affecting it in some way.

The main cause of my unhappiness….. was me.

I wasn’t happy with myself. I wasn’t happy in certain situations. I wasn’t happy with where I was in my life and felt I was neglecting myself, and others, and falling into a trap of despair and misery.

I was constantly fighting with my (then) partner over the STUPIDEST things (I am very sorry to you about that) and was constantly picking on myself for my own personal failures.

I knew I needed to change. I knew I needed to nurture myself and grow. I knew I was neglecting myself and my full potential TO BE HAPPY.

Recently I’ve started listening to uplifting and inspirational podcasts, such as Into Intentional with Sedona Christina and Happier with Gretchen Rubin.

These positive energy-based podcasts truly encourage you to think differently and change the aspects of your life that are not making you truly happy.

Things like forming positive habits like making your bed everyday, taking the time to sit down and enjoy your morning cup of coffee, or one of my new favorite ones which is the one-minute rule: essentially, if the task required takes less than a minute to complete, do it right away.

This encourages you to get easy tasks accomplished so you feel like you’ve worked towards something which, for me, makes me feel productive and happy.

There are so many little day-to-day things we can sometimes neglect that could add to our own personal level of happiness.

I tend to get lost in my thoughts and become consumed with negativity or just self-loathing when I feel I haven’t matched up with my personal goals in life. That’s the struggle of an idealist: if we do not match up to our own ideals, we ourselves feel defeated and borderline give up on them or feel we have failed ourselves. And this takes such a toll on our happiness.

The first thing I’ve begun doing is changing my mindset.

This is super important because it’s also creating a new habitual way of life. It is allowing you to change how you perceive your surroundings and how you interpret your own actions and others.

And the other part of that is letting go of the things you cannot control in your life. When you let go of the factors you cannot control, and focus on those in which you can (i.e., yourself), you begin to feel more secure with yourself and your own thoughts and emotions.

You need to remember that this is your life you are living and you are in command of yourself. So taking this perspective and approach allows you to become more positive in difficult situations and ultimately changing how you view them in the future.

I’m a firm believer that…

The energy in which you put out into this universe is the energy you will receive back from it.

And that’s important to remember, even in the darkest of moments. Even something as small (yet, huge in a way) as changing how you perceive things can increase your overall level of happiness.

Start small. But start somewhere.

As always, thank you for reading (if you made it to this point) and if you have any tips or tricks on learning how to be happy, please leave them in the comments below.

Personal growth is one of the most beautiful things to go through, even when it SUCKS.

But, it will get better. And you can be happy.


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